We will be voting again soon.

Leadership is currently a hot topic. And while everyone has an opinion about how things should be organized at the top, I am struck by how similar this is to what I see every day in families.

People often ask for help with their children: stomach aches, not wanting to go to school, tiredness, quietness, hyperactivity. But as soon as I start asking questions calmly, it often turns out that something else is out of balance—not with the child, but with one of the parents. Sometimes both.

Children are sensitive to tone, atmosphere, and tension. They don't need to know anything to feel everything. They register: Is someone really present? Is someone in control internally?

And if that is not the case, they will compensate, usually unconsciously. Staying at home to keep an eye on things. Falling silent. Or, conversely, making noise, because silence says too much.

When I was still working as an executive coach, I saw the same thing happening in organizations: you can train and develop all you want at the bottom, but if nothing changes at the top, the system will remain stuck in the same rut.

 

It works the same way at home. Parents are not perfect leaders (thankfully), but they are the leaders of the system. Not to control everything, but to be present internally. That is where order, security, and growth begin.

Children don't need perfect parents. They need parents who are there for them.